Request Help Through Awareness

My name is Rebecca Jenise. Married for 23 years to Phil, a decorated, three-time war veteran. 4 kids, 19, 17, 9 and 8. I am also a victim of domestic violence. My husband is currently awaiting trial for Attempted Aggravated Murder, F-1, Felony Breach of Protection, F-3, Menacing by Stalking, F-4, & Possession of Criminal Tools, F-5. His trial is scheduled for Tues, Nov 3rd and I am in desperate need of some sort of help. I thought this would make a show that would never be forgotten. It would be more than thought provoking. It would motivate women to do something - BIG. If a man (or woman) has ever made you not do something out of fear of his violent reaction, you could be me someday.

I have tried every avenue. At my request, my U.S. Congressmen, John Boccieri, has started a congressional investigation. Also, at my request, the Army Inspector General has an ongoing investigation. Both of these sources are going to conclude that the Army failed in their duty to protect my children and myself. The evidence is well documented, as you will see. Unfortunately, none of them are able to help me with my most pressing issue. It is not money, although I have none. It is not future civil action, although that will be forthcoming. It is not future income, because that will begin at my husbands conviction. My real fear, even though I know I am in Gods constant sight and He would not forsake me, is that my husband is going to be out very soon. Too soon. He was facing 17½ years in prison. I have been told by every Domestic Violence expert, advocate or therapist that I have spoken with that as soon as my husband serves his jail time, regardless of the length, he is going to find me and kill me. No one has disagreed.

My husband was arrested in the beginning of April on charges of Attempted Aggravated Murder of me. When he was arrested outside my house here in North Canton, on the front passenger floor was a torture kit - a black duffel bag with abduction and torture devices, (zip-tie hand cuffs, duct tape, bolt cutters, tile nippers, sledge hammer, ball-pin hammer) all brand new with price tags attached. He had purchased enough restraints for all five of us. Unfortunately, the search of my husbands car at my house was found to be illegal and as a result, the torture kit is now suppressed as evidence. The case law the defense team cited was Arizona V. Gant. The ruling on this was not even handed down until after my husband was arrested.

How did we get here?

My husband, Phil, has had three war tours ~ Gulf War in 1990 &, recently, after taking a full-time active-duty position with the Army Reserve, he has been sent on two tours of duty, back2back, in Afghanistan. He was diagnosed in 1997 with PTSD at the VA Hospital in Brecksville, Ohio. He attended therapy & group therapy there for over a year. He was also severely physically and sexually abused as a child for over 10 years.

Phils behavior over the past years became more controlling, intimidating and physically threatening. He began threatening to kill me & I had to file for an Order of Protection for myself. The courts added our four children because he was making repeated death threats to me, threatening to kill our kids in front of me to punish me. He also left disturbing messages for our teens as well. I tried for the last 12 years of our marriage to get him help, more recently to force him into treatment, but nothing worked. (Don't worry, I now know how messed up this sounds.)

Since the granting of the Order of Protection, which was in April 08, my husband continually threatened and called thousands of times. His last contact with us was in the end of March. He called my cell phone 82 times in four hours from his Army Reserve Center in Texas, left 30 voice messages on my cell phone & teens cellphones of a gun shooting over and over, and one message to our 17 yr daughter that said, "Guess What Next........... Ask Your Dike Mother". His Army unit commanders were aware of all of this, including the protection order, texted death threats, the voicemails, recorded conversations and the outstanding warrants for Breach of Protection.

Two weeks later the Army took from him a long-range sniper rifle. He had never owned a personal weapon and was banned from purchasing or having any weapons. This is a felony that his unit failed to arrest him on. Then, they gave him seven days leave to drive round trip from Texas to Ohio (1800 miles one-way) to conduct personal business and get his misdemeanors cleared up. He has no other family in Ohio and no real reason for coming here.

The commander called the North Canton Police and let them know my husband was coming into their jurisdiction. They suggested that I enter a Domestic Violence Shelter for my own safety. At arrival, I spoke to THE LTC who granted Phils leave. He told me, "Maam, if your husband were to be arrested, that would solve both of our problems".

I had been receiving spousal and child support from his military pay through the State of Ohio. He was served with divorce papers in June of 2008 in the Fayetteville, NC jail after finding our two youngest sons and me at a hotel. He recognized our van from the road. Because of the protection order, he threatened to drown our little boys in front of me if I called the police in order to get him away from me. The hotel staff called the police.

As if this nightmare is not enough, on June 7th, 2009, the Army changed his status to confined and he no longer receives his Army pay. As a result, I no longer get spousal or child support from his pay. I will receive Transition Income for Domestic Violence Victims from the Army but not until my husband is convicted.

My husband's family will no longer speak to our kids or me. After having been estranged from his family for ten years, they are now completely supporting him and somehow this is all my fault. His father is a retired Montgomery County consumer protection attorney. His sister is a corporate attorney. She was going to put up the $100,000 cash bond required to have my husband released until the Judge ruled to allow the prosecutor to request a hearing before any release at which time the bond would be increased to such an extent as to prevent his release. They refuse to believe that he really came here to kill me. An Army officer came forward from Texas and is flying in for the trial to testify that Phil told hime that he was only coming to Ohio to "kill his wife" - only in much more colorful words.

This whole thing has been one long nightmare for our four children and myself. I have consistently prayed that my husband be healed for many years. More recently, I started praying for relief from his abuse. Since this is the relief that God has provided, I fully accept it.

I am extremely easy-going and dislike conflict but have learned to see and recognize the signs of abuse. My faith and my own childhood made me try for too long to get help for my husband. I have since gotten the help I needed to be strong enough to get away from him. I can now be the woman God intended for me to be, not what my husband would allow me to be. I have decided to finish my degree in Psychology and get my PhD.

I have spent five years in weekly therapy and reading and studying well over 100 books on Co-dependency, Personality Disorders (Axis II Borderline, Narcissistic, Anti-Social), Personality types, Inner Child Healing, Emotional Abuse, Child Neglect, Helping Witnesses, Enlightened Witnesses, PTSD, Suicidal Behavior, Recognizing Real Love, Discerning the Will of God, etc. I am writing three books currently. The first is about my Exit Strategy and how I safely got away from a mad man. The second is about how to recognize abuse, how jealousy and control turn into abuse, and how to recognize abusive personalities in general. The third, a topic which is so overlooked, not just recognizing abusive behavior and getting out, but how to help women recognize WHY they got into these types of relationships to begin with, and how to heal themselves. After all, God will keep sending the lessons He wants us to learn from life over and over and over until we learn the lesson. I learned my lesson the first time. But how many women and men get into the same relationship over and over, but with different abusers each time?

I am not just a need to know person. I am a need to know WHY person. My intelligence level actually added to my abuse. I have really been able to do so many things in my life using my intellect that I just thought that fixing my husband would be something I could do. But immature 'magical thinking" and denial helped me stay in that unhealthy place. I have never failed at anything that I did not give up on, so if I just didn't give up, I would prevail. Divorce is failure & failure was not an option. I was just that determined, or should I say arrogant. I have been humbled, have I not?

If there is any way you or your staff could provide some national coverage on this case, even if it is just raising the level of awareness to these types of situations, I would be forever grateful. Perhaps this could be the beginning of people recognizing just how dangerous these types of men are so that we can take them seriously. The only reason that our country has not addressed truly intense situations like mine in the past is that the other wives, girlfriends or significant others are all dead. The only protection I am able to provide for myself is that of awareness. I must make more people aware of this type of severe emotional, psychological and mental abuse. If for no other reason than to save myself yet again when he is released.

I can provide all the recorded messages, text messages, and recorded conversations that I gave to the police. They are chilling.