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My Active-Duty Army husband was arrested for Attempted Aggravated Murder of me in April 2009. YES, OF ME!! Married 23 years with 4 children, my husband was diagnosed with PTSD after the Gulf War in 1990. After 9/11, Phil felt he should go back into the Army to "do his part" again. He joined the Reserves and got an Active Duty assignment. The Army sent him on two back to back tours in Afghanistan. He had been getting more and more controlling, more jealous, more unable to control his rage and anger, especially as our kids got older. They weren't very good at "tip-toeing" around their Dad, trying to keep his anger under control. Unfortunately, I had become very good at it since the Gulf War. I decided to file for divorce in Nov 2006. Phil evaded the process server and became threatening and more abusive. I just needed to be away from him. He became more coercive and dangerous. I gave him "one more chance" after his return from his first tour in Afghanistan. It took less than a week for his raging to start again. I felt trapped by his anger, his control of all of the family resources, his mental state. He left for Afghanistan a second time, stopped paying our mortgage to punish me and the kids, refused to give us any money. When he returned, I filed for a Civil Order of Protection, filed for divorce again, and made sure he couldn't get to me (April/May2008). Our children were added to the Protection Order because he couldn't keep his raging belligerence from them-he never did. He continued to break the protection order over 1,000 times from May 08 to March 2009. I have recorded VMs; text messaged death threats, conversations with death threats. I gave all this info to the police and to my husbands commanders (he is a MAJOR by the way.) They Army got tired of dealing with him and let him leave TX to come to Ohio and kill me. He was arrested for Attempted Aggravated Murder, Menacing by Stalking, Felony Breach of Protection, Possession of Criminal Tools (was arrested at my "hiding house" with a Torture Kit in his car. His commander took away from Phil a personal long-range Sniper Rifle the day he was given leave (a felony by itself). Two weeks prior he had called 100 times in 4 hrs from his Unit phone leaving 30 VMS of a dry gun shooting over, and over and over. (To my cell and our two teens) and one MSG to our 17 yr. old daughter that said, "Guess What's Next..... Ask Your Dike Mother". He just pled guilty to Menacing by Stalking and Felony Breach of Protection. Local police messed up search, didn't Marandize, Attempted Aggravated Murder was dropped. The Army let him go to ruin his life, even though I had been working with them for months trying to get him the help he needed. I have been in therapy myself & my first therapist told me to form a safe exit strategy and get out. It took three years. I had been living off of spousal and child support and a part-time job (at Chico’s). We moved from our House of Hell to my own House of Peace. I have gotten NO INCOME from the Army since June 5th. I was a stay at home mother of four working from home, making extra but was not "allowed" to work outside the home. The Army has Transition Income for Domestic Violence victims, but it cannot be paid until the solder is convicted and separated. Because it was allowed to escalate, it wasn't just Dom Violence. My children and I have been through HELL all over again because of the Army and their negligence. I have found out that his commanders should have arrested him the first time they were aware he committed domestic violence (he texted death threats to me in Oct 2008). They were aware of his actions on hundreds of occasions. They did nothing. Since his arrest, all I get from anyone in the Army is "sorry, nothing we can do." If you could bring light on this, I know it could help. I have made some VMs available to listen to online. You, Oprah, have been an inspiration - with your guides to spiritual living and articles on what love really is, and how truly happy couples interact to meet BOTH partners needs. I had NO NEEDS for a long time - acknowledged, that is. I know the difference now. I was raised to DO for others to get attention. Because my husband has this public demeanor, "Major Jose", he was always very believable - the local police sent him home with me six times the last summer he was in our home. "Ma’am, he promises to leave you alone and stay in the basement." They never reported anything with child protective services that I found out they had an obligation to report. Close friends and near neighbors started to see the cracks. This has been an absolute nightmare. I just sidestepped an eviction notice this month. I don't know how much longer I can handle the pressure. Our kids are 19, 17, 9 and 8. My 19yr old son couldn't start college this fall (he has full-scholarship) because the private school that both my teens attended for 3 and 2 1/2yrs is suing me for unpaid tuition and they are withholding transcripts. My son, IQ near 140 with excellent grades, is looking at joining the Marines to help alleviate the financial strain on our family. I don't want him to exchange his life for money because of the Army and their failure to recognize the signs of suicide. Phil had 7 of 8 criteria from the VA website - one of which is "revenge seeking". (You only need one to be considered suicidal.) I have included the Affidavit that was filed with the divorce courts last December 2008. He became VERY abusive, even to the kids. On Dec 7th, he will be sentenced – max 6 ½ years. He is totally and completely psychologically disabled. He was facing 17 ½ yrs. Regardless, whenever he gets out, everyone I speak to in the Domestic Violence arena has told me that he will get out and kill me. He needs REAL help. The Army is trying to negate their responsibility. I cannot let them but I could REALLY use some help. I have contacted the VA, the Pentagon, US Congressman John Boccieri from Ohio, Army Inspector General, etc. Phil’s unit has not spoken to me since mid April after his arrest. His commander actually said to me, as I was checking into a domestic violence shelter, “Ma’am, if he were to be arrested, that would solve both our problems”. They saw my husband as a problem to get rid of. I saw him as having a problem that the Army caused and they had the obligation to address and take care of however they needed. --Not just cut him loose to hang himself. Phil was awarded the Bronze Star for Service in the Gulf War, Combat Infantryman’s Badge, Ranger Tab, Combat Patch with the 82nd Airborne Division, Jump Wings, Expert Field Medic Badge, he was prior service enlisted, was awarded a Green to Gold Scholarship for ROTC, graduated No. 1 in his college ROTC class, was Cadet Battalion Commander. This should NOT have been allowed to end up like this because the Army didn’t want to do their job.

Call me please. 330-966-6966